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Buddhism as an "Atheistic Religion": a Western Fantasy By Kacie Tsao

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Too often, I find that atheists are reluctant to criticize Buddhism. Atheists who would otherwise have no problems ripping apart Christianity, Islam, shamanism, cargo cults and the like... somehow falter when it comes time to deliver that final blow to ALL belief systems based on faith and superstition. They somehow cannot find anything bad to say about Buddhism.

In the West, Buddhism has been built up as an idealistic belief system. It's perfect and nonviolent and -- and it's atheist! But it's also a religion, so the theists can't complain either! It's perfect! Uh... no. I hate to pop anyone's bubble (who am I kidding? I love popping bubbles), but this "atheist religion" thing is such a baldfaced LIE that I'm ashamed to admit that it's the liberal academics that are the most to blame for spreading it. And now it's gotten so pervasive, and it's such an alluring concept, that many atheists just nod and accept it as fact because the lie was told to them by other atheists, and because they want to believe it. Confirmation bias and all that. I think they need a crash course in Buddhism as it's practiced.

Buddhists are NOT atheists. When I say "Buddhist" here, I don't mean the "philosophical Buddhists" that many atheists claim to be - I'll get to that later - I mean the types of Buddhists you'll find in Buddhist-majority populations. The ones who grew up Buddhist. The ones who visit Buddhist temples. They are not atheists, and they're not not-atheists because they're "doin' it wrong" when it comes to their own religion. There is no "right" way to do Buddhism, and if there were, wouldn't it be the lifelong Buddhists who would best be able to argue that point rather than American converts coming from a Christian majority nation?

At its best, Buddhism is deist. At its worst, Buddhism is polytheistic. There are gods and goddesses, bodhisattvas and devas, for just about everything. Basically, in those sects, it's fat-free Hinduism. (Hinduism Light? Diet Hinduism?) You just take away that nasty stuff about castes, limit the powers of the gods, add some stuff about a human prophet (who may or may not have been Jesus Christ Mohammed a messianic figure sent by Dharmakaya/the universe/"the force" to teach us all about Truth), and voila! Buddhism.

How can a religion that purports to be vehemently non-theist actually be polytheist? Well, it can. Of course the scriptures will be quick to say that the bodhisattvas are fallible beings themselves, but the fact is that followers of the religion still believe these mystical beings live on a "higher plane of existence" and sometimes listen to human prayers. I don't care what they're called, but when people pray to "higher beings" in the hopes that those prayers will be answered by benevolent powers that exist in some spiritual lala-land, that is worship of a deity. When there are more than one of those deities, that's freakin' polytheism.

And then there is, like in Hinduism, also a somewhat monotheistic middle ground. Brahma has many faces but is one god, and apparently so is the Buddha. He's, like, everything, even the other gods. We are god, man. It's real trippy, though one thing it is not... is atheistic.

When Asian atheists say they're Buddhist, it might not mean what you think it means. Because you can drop the superstitious faith and still carry out traditional rites. Giving up god(s) doesn't mean giving up Christmas dinners or visiting shrines on New Year's. Being "Buddhist", for some, is like being a reform Jew. Many aspects of secular Jewish culture have nothing to do with the violent tantrums of some stupid sky-god. Secular Buddhism is the same. It's basically a "yeah, I'm descended from a long line of people who believed in such-and-such" identity marker. In truth, atheism is much more prevalent in East Asia than statistics often show because those polls are asking the wrong questions. For example, records stating what percentage of people in Japan are of this or that faith come from associating one's family line with a local temple or shrine. They don't even ask anyone. (The picture is very different when people are asked.)

I recently read a translated version of a trashy gay Japanese romance novel (don't judge me, lol) and there was a quote that stuck out to me.

"Are you a practicing Christian, Satsuki?" Edward asked with concern.
"No, I'm a Buddhist," Satsuki replied.
Actually, he was an atheist, but foreigners didn't really understand that, so he had prepared this response.

THIS. OMG THIS -- is why so many Westerners think Buddhism is/can be an "atheistic religion". Atheistic religion? That's an oxymoron. If you take away the superstition and mysticism, all that's left is a philosophy and a set of cultural practices, NOT a religion.

Religious people tend to respect other religions more than they respect nontheists. "I'm an atheist" is practically evangelical bait. "I'm a Buddhist" has become the standard response for non-confrontational, non-religious East Asians. It's code for "please don't try to convert me", and it works.

There are many ideas in Buddhism that atheists can agree with, just as many atheists also feel that "love thy neighbor" and "thou shalt not kill" are generally good ideas. Can one be a Christian who doesn't believe Jesus Christ was the son of god? Can one be a Buddhist who doesn't believe the Buddha had reached a state of perfect enlightenment? Agreeing only with the nice, neutral talking points makes you about as Buddhist as it makes you Christian.

Dudes, admit to cherrypicking or GTFO. The accusation of cherrypicking is often leveled at confused theists who insist that their holy text of choice is perfect, yet throw away the parts they don't like. Why, then, do these atheists not point out the crap in Buddhist scriptures? Instead, they pick out the most profound-sounding quotes and recite them as if to say, "Look here! The Asians are wise." This exoticism and idealism of the "mysterious East" strips away the humanity from the cultures they're exalting. (And I could run at the mouth forever and a day about the objectification of Asian women that results from this, but I'll restrain myself.)

Practicing Buddhists engage in (scripture-supported!) activities as irrational as those found in any other religion. Maybe they don't throw acid on people's faces, but still. Arbitrary restrictions abound!

Buddhism is vegetarian... except when it's not. Mahayana Buddhism allows fish and eggs to be consumed, but forbids:

  • garlic
  • onions
  • shallots
  • chives
  • leeks
  • asofoetida (a spice often found in curries)

Some sects also forbid roots and tubers from being eaten because they kill the plant when harvested, which means no:

  • radishes
  • potatoes
  • carrots
  • beets
  • do I have to go on?

They make up a lot of excuses for this, such as "those foods make people angry/lustful" or "gods will stay far away from (people who eat pungent foods) because they smell bad, and hungry ghosts will hover around and kiss their lips". Today's lesson is: the Buddha will judge you for your halitosis. Oh, and Italians get lots of lurve from hungry ghosts.

Strip away the excuses, though, and you'll find that the basic justification for the ban on onions and garlic is simply that IT TASTES TOO GOOD. Life is suffering. Attachment is suffering. Therefore, one must seek to make oneself as miserable as possible by never indulging in the glory that is garlic bread. For you see, if eating is pleasurable, you'll want to eat more, and you'll actually enjoy life. If you enjoy this life, how on earth will you be convinced of a perfect afterlife in nirvana?

This is exactly the same type of BS the Abrahamic religions try to pull on their followers. You're a poor, uneducated peasant farmer/laborer and your life is already pretty damn tough, but now you can't have alcohol, you can't have sex, and you can't eat anything that actually tastes good. It takes away all the hope you might have of making this life better, and thus keeps you in your "rightful place", subservient to the priesthood class. Now throw yourself into prayer for a better afterlife! (BTW, make sure to pay lip service to, uh, fighting poverty by embracing poverty... or something. Whatever. Just make it sound esoterically profound!)

Buddhist monks are the Catholic priests of the East. You want sex scandals? We got sex scandals. "Do as I say, not as I do" should be the mantra of religious leaders everywhere. We all know about the Catholic priests and their sex crimes. The same abuse of power occurs in Buddhist monasteries. They claim celibacy while molesting their young apprentices. Everyone knows it happens. It's been the subject of crude jokes for hundreds of years, but word doesn't often get out because the children sent to monasteries have much less contact with the outside world compared to, say, an altar boy.

Speaking of abuses of power... You know what? I can't even stomach the thought of typing up this shit. Let's just say that the Shaolin monks have become Hollywood celebrities (their faith is as fake and materialistic as that of televangelists), and Tibetan Buddhism makes me very, very angry.

It makes me angry that the anti-Chinese political climate of the US makes it so that anyone who doesn't buy into the CIA's propaganda that China is responsible for every horrid thing that ever happened to Tibet is labeled as a secret communist plant sent by the Chinese government. It makes me angry that they play linguistic games in order to tie religious Tibet to the "noble struggle" and atheist China to "human rights abuses". These games do nothing but obscure the issue while preying on ignorant American fears of Chinese world domination. (Mwahahahaha! Evil commies!) And I am angry that to criticize Tibetan Buddhism makes me somehow a "Chinese oppressor". I am angry that I'm told again and again that I can't possibly be for a free Tibet if I hate the cruel practices of Tibetan Buddhism as much as I do. I am NOT a "pinko" if I believe, based on facts, that China did some good for the Tibetan people, and that the average Tibetan people are better off now than they ever were under the old theocracy. Oh, it makes me SO ANGRY.

If you've read my rambling blog post this far, then read that, please, and help stop the spread of the myths about Buddhism. No matter how peaceful the teachings may seem, the religion is still, to put it bluntly, hella fucked up.